Sunday, August 8, 2010
Hocus Pocus
I'm back from vacation and ready for action!!! Which consists of me lying in my room and reading all day. I do lead a stimulating life. So, here we go for today:
Zohre and I went to (fortune teller) Akbike's last week so she could tell us what the deal is with my host sister Bagul and her boyfriend Nuryagdy. Everything was going well, as far as phone based relationships can at any rate, but all of a sudden he accused her of having a boyfriend in Kerki and told her that he "didn't need her." Despite the fact that she is not attracted to him and has only been in this "telationship" for 5 months, she's been pretty upset about the whole business – lying around in the mornings with the curtains drawn, crying, not eating, typical break up behavior. I tried to be supportive but after a few days the whole, "I don't feel like eating anything" got old, especially since Bagul has had health issues in the past due to the fact that she doesn't eat enough. I started going for the tough love route, "I don't care if you're not hungry, you've got to eat!!", and my host mom started going to see Akbike a few times a week. And because I never had anything better to do, I went with her.
Akbike gave us daily updates according to the salt: first Nuryagdy was coming home, then there was no road, so he was either delayed or already home, then he wasn't going to come home. Each time Zohre was like, "okay, okay" and I kept thinking, but that's not what you (Akbike, "fortune teller") said before! My confidence in her abilities began to wane. She did, however, predict that I would find my keys. Couldn't locate them when I got back from vacation – thank goodness I keep a spare under the carpet square outside of my door. Anyway, she told us I'd find them the following day and what do you know, my friend called me from Ashgabat to inform me that'd I'd left them in my box there. Akbike predicted they'd be in my house. When we told her the keys were located, she said she considered Peace Corps to be a sort of house. I guess I can accept that. I do sleep there on occasion.
Anyhow, during these salty sessions, I finally got the reading promised to me. It was not, unfortunately, what I was expecting. I had thought that this "reading" would mean Akbike would read what the salt said about me – what I would do in the next year, when I would find a boyfriend, you know, stuff she tells other people. Well, there was confusion regarding this word, "read." In Turkmen, the word for "to read" (as in books) is the same as the word for "to pray." So what Akbike really did for me was pray. Which, of course, was nice and well intentioned, but I still want to know what I'm going to do when I go home.
Of course, Akbike praying for me was unlike any prayer I've ever experienced, so it wasn't a total wash. I sat in front of her on the floor. She asked me to wish for something and that she would pray for it to come true. I'm a pretty practical wisher; I don't ask for money or fame or whatever. I usually stick with stuff that's more likely to come true, like happiness. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have told you – what if it doesn't come true now? Just kidding. I'm already happy! Which, now that I think about it, makes me wonder if should have wished for something better. . .
Wish made, I concentrated on being happy and leading a fulfilling life while Akbike took a machete and with it tapped my head three times, my shoulders three times and then ran the knife from my shoulders to my hands three times. Knife business finished, she blew air on my right hand (three times), my heart (three times), and my forehead (guess how many times?). Then she spit on my right hand (I think it's a sort of warding off evil gesture). She prayed and repeated the process a few more times (maybe three, I stopped counting). After everything was finished, she told me she'd pray for me a few more times and if she did, I would be a government minister or some other equally important person.
We went the next day, but Akbike had gone to a wedding, so I haven't been able to ensure my future with back up prayers. We need to go back soon though; we've eaten all the grapes that Akbike gave us. Just kidding. Well, okay, not really, the grapes are indeed gone, but I don't like going to her house only because she gives me fruit. Although I do like that. But no, no, I actually like Akbike. She's interesting and talkative and I still have nothing better to do than go along with Zohre when she visits. And also she gives me fruit.
Government minister – woo-hoo!!
Well, another woman – a relative of my host father – came over the other day to talk about guesting plans with my host mom. It turns out that she, too, is a seer of sorts. She can read cards. My host mother, ever desirous to know what the future holds, whipped out a deck of Turkmen cards (different from our 52-card decks) and had her see what she could for my host brother in Turkey, my host sister, and myself. She informed me that the cards show her what happened one week in the past and what will happen one week in the future. This is what the cards said about us: My host brother was "thinking" about whether or not to come back to Turkmenistan. My host sister was "thinking" about what to do about her boy troubles, and I was "thinking" about some boy I wanted to talk to. She also told me that I would come into money this week (I got my salary on Monday) and that I was bored.
My host brother has been telling my host parents for at least the past 4 months that he'd come home soon and then always changes his mind and stays (or never really made up his mind in the first place). That he is contemplating "to go home or not to go home" doesn't take a wild stretch of imagination to figure. My host sister is obviously brooding over her troubles – what 22 year old wouldn't? And me? Well, I still have no idea what boy I wanted to talk to, but it doesn't matter because she said I wouldn't talk to him anyway. She was right about the money situation, though, and about being bored. But on the other hand, we're all bored. We live in a village. There's nothing to do but gossip and wedding crash. I mean, come on. Who isn't a little bit bored? Bottom line, I was unimpressed.
Love,
Jess
P.S. I've decided my official countdown will begin September 1. We have a conference the first week of September during which we'll find out our leave dates. Stay tuned!!!
--
Greg
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